Welcome to a realm of souls.
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I really don't have much to say, except that I am a comic artist (in-training) who is also an art student. I don't consider myself a professional, but I can take in commissions. I may be in my late teens now, but I really have a heart of a child, even if some people see me as a matured woman.
Summon me
I don't really give away my e-mail address, but unless you want to send a FAQ or even requesting a commission, I'll take that. And note: I will ignore mails with no subject.
pilaresber@yahoo.com
Monday, September 29, 2008
- 1:54 AM
What the...?
Seriously, don't walk up behind me just like that, just because I didn't greet you whenever I'm in a deep thought. Don't make me think you're trying to let me fall for you again, when I swore to myself I'll see you as a friend.
Why in the world are we sometimes doing things that doesn't even concern with our major activities? I don't see the whole point in doing things so pointless but looks like it's very important. I have some important things to do, so why the heck are these kind of things interfering my realm? That's just plain annoying.
Gahd, I want the world to stop this. Well, at times, that is.
Well, if it's not even worth it, then why bother getting it to you?
I just don't like how people keep on begging me to help them, when they won't even take my advice. That just adds fuel to my fire. So why bother asking for help, if you're not going to take their help? And how can I help you, when you can't even help yourself?
I may be tired, but it doesn't mean I'm moody. You keep on saying I'm not helping you, but you're just not helping yourself. You keep on saying I don't understand you, but I have already understand the situation. You keep on saying I don't see the problem, but I have already found it. You keep on saying I'll never know, but you just don't want to admit it. You keep on saying you know already, but you stubbornly won't change.
This is the reason why I try to avoid love. Sure, first time is always addicting, but for once, self-control is your only weapon now. I have experienced that once, but I now that I have already admit that the person I loved won't love me back, but hey, it's no big deal. That's what self-control is all about.
It was the dead of the night, and I am surprised...
You appeared in front of me.
Why? Why now? After all those times I try to avoid you, you still manage to catch up to me whilst the full moon has risen?
My other side is smiling at you whilst I frown. You're not supposed to talk to me at this time, I thought, hoping my other side will listen. But no...
I curse these chains of cursed feelings from my other side. I am trying to keep my mind forward. But... you're just in the way... at least, that's what my other side wants me to think.
So... why... are we here...? Here... where the moonlight shines my fantasy...
But I just don't know why people must force themselves to complicate it. If people want to be happy, then why complicate their lives even more when they are already feeling enough misery?
Why so serious? Why not smile because your still alive?
Indeed, life is simple... all we need to do is find that little button to refresh ourselves from chaos. And to make ourselves stronger to cross the obstacles as we move on.
One of the curses I had since my birth. It's not really that easy to avoid. It even makes you feel guilty especially when something must be done. To make matters worse, I am not the type of person who forgives herself easily.
Yeah, believe me, even if I know it's just a mistake, I can't help but think what other people will say about me forgeting such a little thing. It's like I broke a promise, and breaking a promise is like breaking my heart.
Maybe it's just me because I lack sleep, or I just had too many work to do.
Still, I can't forgive myself for being so forgetful. I feel so ashamed of myself for being so forgetful.
I went out with my friends somewhere where we felt happy. One of my friends was, of course, that person. After some time, while the others went away for some business, that person grabbed my hand and went towards a small house. That person then whispered in my ear, though I really couldn't understand what were those words. The only words I hear were those last three precious words which I am never to hear from that person. We then locked lips, which made me shocked, because I know I am not worth that person's heart.
I woke up. Relieved it was only a dream, I continue to my business.
After that though, I found myself looking for that person. I shook my head, forcing myself to not think about that person. Why that person? I asked myself. I am not worthy, so why me? Why must I dream of that person when I know that person has someone else in mind?
As I stopped myself, I felt my heart aching with a sad confusion.
I just want to see that person as a friend. A close friend. So why must I suddenly think of that person so badly?
Why is this person giving so much pain if that person is not for me because that person has someone else to be happy with?
So many answers I wish to know, but they will come for years for me to understand.